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Monday, February 2, 2004

12:10PM - Cums in handy...

I know we've all needed this at one point or another:

Worst Case Scenario Handbook: Masturbation

It includes handy tips on how to masturbate in the office, your grandmother's house, in the line of gunfire, during a shark attack, and in space, among many more.

Monday, January 12, 2004


We all know that it is a sin for a taliban male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and that he must commit suicide if he does. So this Saturday at 4:00 PM Eastern time all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Taliban, and to demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women.

And since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.

The American Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

God bless America!


Tuesday, December 16, 2003


Conversation I had years ago

Still has merit.

Saturday, October 18, 2003

1:17AM - need some MAN help!

so, i need the help of real men...
i'm conducting a poll to see what female body type most men find most attractive sexually & would like to ask you find gentlemen to help me out!

come help me!
tell me what YOU find sexy!

(i thought this was a PERFECT community to make my plea in... thanks for letting me do so!)

Current mood: hopeful

Wednesday, October 15, 2003


Have you ever taken a really good shit? I mean like, you felt very satisfied after it happened? I just had one of thoes. I feel good. :)

Current mood: happy

Saturday, June 21, 2003


does anyone know what the HELL happened to Opie & Anthony?! i love those guys.... and does anyone know where i can find Jim Norton tour info?!


Monday, April 21, 2003


yowzas. so very glad to have found this community! I love the man show.
Beer. Hot chicks. What more could a guy or a girl like me want?!

Tuesday, April 8, 2003

12:54PM - Please don't delete this!

Ok... this is pretty closely related, so I thought I would let everyone know.

The first LJ community for the best late night show is finally here!!!


This is gonna be the illin'est community LJ has seen but only if YOU join. So sign up and give props to Jimmy, Uncle Frank, Cleto, and even Gerhard Reinke. Enjoy!

Sunday, March 16, 2003


tonight; Wheel of destiny.

1:54AM - newbie

i am a lover of jimmy's new show ....its hilarious last night he had jay mohr,cris judd, and his guest host of the week jeffrey ross and the highlight was when they got drunk on ny quil and when jimmy danced naked with a japanese boy band.....yeah it was a big moment in t.v history.

Current mood: amused

Saturday, February 8, 2003

4:08PM - all done?

So, it's all over now that Jimmy Kimmel has the new show?

All those unemployed juggies ...

Friday, January 17, 2003

7:44PM - interesting

So I'm watching the Man Show over the weekend. Jimmy comes out and says something like, "40 years ago, they couldn't say the word 'pregnant' on the Lucy Show. Will they be watching The Man Show in 40 years and say, 'Gee, they couldn't say XXX, XXX, XXX, XXXXX, or XXXXXXX,' back then."

insert [bleep] for XXXX ---

now, we had captioning on. It seems that the captioner gets to see the feed before the Bleeper got to it. only the F--- word got captioned down to F___" Shitbag made it through.

Tuesday, November 12, 2002


A repeat tonight: The Wheel of Fortune (women's edition).

I just see the woman who got the "Dip your breasts in caramel," as seeing the one who followed her "diaper the adult baby" and thinking, "Well it could have been worse.."

and of course the announcement that Fabio isn't gay. Now it's official.

Current mood: sleepy

Tuesday, August 20, 2002

10:33PM - season opener

I have to say when the finalist was asked which celeb she'd have sex with if she could and she responded {juggie} Vannessa, I had to agree with her taste...

Current mood: thirsty

Friday, July 19, 2002

12:45PM - A poll for the guys.

So, my girlfriend is watching Maury Povich, and they have some guy who's in tears because he found out his wife is cheating on him with another woman.

You find out your wife is sleeping with another woman, how do you react?

Wednesday, July 10, 2002

7:18AM - who's jimmy kimmel?

Letterman Gives Koppel's New Show A Boost, Not the Boot
By Tom Shales
Tuesday, July 9, 2002; Page C01 (Washington Post)

Two stand-up guys sat down for a chat. The result was good conversation and quietly terrific television. And if you happen to be a fan of the two men in question -- Ted Koppel and David Letterman -- and you saw this encounter, you may have come away with a new understanding of why you like them. Or love them, as the case may be.

The occasion was the premiere of "Nightline UpClose," a new and interim late-night show that follows "Nightline," but only, as Koppel noted on last night's premiere, until January. Then a new late-night comedy show starring Jimmy Kimmel, whoever the heck that is, claims the slot.


Friday, June 7, 2002

6:55AM - A joke courtesy Goatboy

A man was brought before the judge and charged with necrophilia. The judge
told him, "In 20 years on the bench, I've never heard such a disgusting,
immoral thing. Just give me one good reason why I shouldn't lock you up and
throw away the key!"

The man replied, "I'll give you THREE good reasons;
1, It's none of your damn business;
2, She was my wife; and
3, I didn't KNOW she was dead, she ALWAYS acted that way!"

Current mood: amused

Monday, May 27, 2002

8:34AM - Jimmy Kimmel steps out

Guess who's got ABC's nod to try his hand at late night ... Jimmy Kimmel!

You may remember him from being on Fox's football pregame show as one of the guest prognosticators. You may remember him as the original host of "Win Ben Stein's Money." You may remember him from ... The Man Show.
From the article in Monday's NYTimes :

"I told him it's a show for guys," Mr. Kimmel recalled. "It's the anti-Oprah. It's all the stuff you see on beer commercials. And every show ends with girls on trampolines."

ABC bought a pilot of "The Man Show," and blanched. "The list we got back from the network censors was just reams and reams," Mr. Kimmel said. "The Bible was shorter."

Comedy Central, however, had no such qualms. "The Man Show," trampolines and all, made its debut in the summer of 1999 and has been a weekly staple ever since.

Wednesday, April 17, 2002

6:34PM - Spread it

I support and use sema's client.

Sunday, April 7, 2002



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